today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
