So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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