Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
