is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
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