we made out on top of his cat.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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