Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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