Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
