In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
