I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
