3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
