Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
