new low.... made out with someone while peeing
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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