I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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