I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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