it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
