dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
