I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize