So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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