her facebook's as public as her vagina
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
