Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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