You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
