You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
