apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
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My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
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