I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Go christen that room with your naked body.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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