I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
