Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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