Midget sex pt 2 tonight
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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