Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
