I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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