She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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