Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
