i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize