her vagine was all disorganized.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
That accounts for only three of the penises
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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