I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
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Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
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Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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