did you get engaged???
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize