dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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