Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
