im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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