i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize