We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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