My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
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