I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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