You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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