I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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