we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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