yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
