ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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