The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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