Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize