Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
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I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
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Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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