so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
no you cant smoke seaweed
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
