i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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