I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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