whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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