You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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