So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
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he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
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I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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