Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
