At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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