saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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