Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
