I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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