I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
