Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dignity is for republicans.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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