did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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